Although happiness is very important, it would be inhuman to never feel anger or sadness, and it’s essential to embrace and remember this.
Things will happen that will cause pain, and being able to recognize and process such emotions in a way that will lead to self-understanding and eventual inner growth is a skill.
It often seems as though I either expect myself to “man up” and get over things quickly, or want to take the easy drama-queen path and stew in emotion for an exorbitant amount of time; as if feeling bad is something that should be skipped unless I decide to wallow in it. I’ve tried to do both at different stages of my life and they both eventually left me feeling like I was living a lie.
It’s a lie that I should deny feeling pain, and it’s also a lie that the only way to come to terms with it is to drag it on.
The right way to process feeling bad:
Know that it’s completely fine to feel this way, as long as I take the time to understand it.
Admit to myself what I’m really feeling and the real reason why. I am angry or just envious? I am really feeling depressed or am I just tired? Am I upset because of what they said was uncalled for, or is it somewhat true and it’s my pride that is in the way?
If there’s something that I could learn from this experience and improve upon in life, I will be thankful for it and incorporate it as best as I can. Could I tone down the ego, be less dependent, stop avoiding something I really need to do, or admit something to myself?
Sometimes the bittersweetness of simply learning a lesson the hard way is all that needs to be acknowledged.
When dealing with something major like the loss of a loved one, the end of a relationship, suddenly being out of work, or anything big and emotionally taxing…I will be kind to myself yet realistic. I will take a healthy amount of time to feel and understand. I also know that life will go on, I will eventually feel better, things will change and evolve. Feel and be real.
Know that sometimes life is just unfair and things will happen beyond my control. The only thing I ever do have control over is myself, so if I want to get back to my usual happy state, I must allow myself to be in charge of me. The second I stop blaming others, sulking, and telling myself that it’s unfair is the moment I come back into power.
Respect myself and my emotions and the fact that life will go on. Everything happens for a reason, life is my monastery and it is constantly teaching me how to be a stronger and wiser human being.