We all just want to be happy. The thing is, we each have our own unique formula for happiness that nobody knows but you. What is yours?
What really, truly matters? Will bring you genuine happiness and fulfillment without needing someone or something to be a certain way for you?
My big ones are: using my creativity, helping others improve their lives, striving for the best version of myself in the moment.
It can be what really matters in the big scheme (like mine), or what really matters right this second, or near future. It doesn’t matter how lofty or seemingly mundane, as long as it feels right and true to you. It can be a long and detailed descriptive paragraph, or a short succinct list. Just write something down. And check with yourself if it feels right to you, and not out of wanting to please someone else’s idea of you.
Write it down. Or type it out. Just get it out so you can look at it. Put it on your desktop, on your cell phone, by your bed. Make it as beautiful or bad-ass as you want. Read it often, even when you think you don’t need to. Update it when necessary. Study it. Honor it. This is your personal formula and you are the sole person responsible for making sure it’s the right one for you in the moment. I’ve made entire journal ‘bible’s based around getting my mind straight about what really matters to me, and having it really helped keep me on track through more difficult times.
This formula needs to compete with and rise above the billboards, media, ‘well-intentioned’ family and friends, and societal ideals. It needs to stand strong through the trials of daily life, the opinions of others, and plans and relationships gone awry.
On your deathbed at age 99, while thinking back on your life, what will make you feel so fulfilled that you feel completely at peace with dying? Or even better — what would you need to do and believe in this week, so that if you found yourself on your deathbed next week, you would feel completely satisfied with how you lived in the time you were given? In the end, all you get to keep is your own knowledge of how you lived. No one else’s opinions will matter. It’ll be just you and your life.
Live your life with these things as guides. What you wrote down is your ultimate compass. Everything you need to live a life that is the most truthful to who you are.
No matter what path you’re on at the moment, you can live more congruent to what really matters to you. You may not notice huge shifts happening immediately, but if you’re focused on your inner truth, your feelings and actions will come from that place. From there you can make more powerful, honest decisions, and keep doing whatever you’re doing from a healthier and clearer standpoint.
Regrets can occur when we make blind decisions. It is so important to know where you’re coming from and what you believe in for yourself. Even if you are unsure with your decision, you will at least know that it was coming from a place of consciousness instead of blind reaction.
Be open to possibilities. Don’t worry so much about how it’s all going to happen. This is when doubt and fear creep in to sabotage us. Do all the research to take care that you’re making informed decisions, but don’t get so caught up in the logistics that you freeze up. Our brain has evolved to love security and when things make logical sense, but that is often not the most conducive to the life we want to be living.
We need to be open to seeing that life is meant to be explored, tried out, experimented with. We are NOT failures if something doesn’t work out. We take what we have learned and try something new. And be open to possibilities. You could met someone, experience something, be presented with something… at any time. And the only thing we have control over is how ready we will be to make an honest conscious decision about it.
So much of this is all about being conscious about why we choose to do things. When we are unconscious and just acting without questioning, that is when we lose sight of what we really want.
So be conscious, open, and believe that life is meant to be explored.