What you will learn:
A new way of looking at your self-growth
Why change is a powerful form of self-love
Why so many adults stop growing
7 solid reasons to give you full permission to change
Hey everyone! Welcome to my first episode of my Badass Babe for Life podcast. My name is Tracy Konane; I am a certified coach who specializes in working with unconventional and creative-minded women who are hell-bent on creating their best life without having to conform or tone themselves down. My main focus is on teaching you how to evolve into the most badass version of yourself, so you can live with more confidence, strength, clarity, and focused energy, and live the best, truest life you can muster.
Alright, so! I am really excited about this because we’re talking about a subject that really fires me up, one that I base all my coaching around which is: the utmost importance of changing who we are. I use words like “growth” and “change” and “evolving” interchangeably here; essentially I’m meaning our inner self-growth. So this is changing who we are in this stage of our lives: how we think, how we feel, what our habits and lifestyle are like, and the attitude and energy we bring to our lives. It’s who we are for our life.
When someone comes to me and says they are unhappy with how their life is going, I will only coach and work with them if they are so completely fed up with themselves that they are ready to do anything to change who they show up as for their life. That means they are ready to admit who they need to become a better version of themselves, so then they can naturally make the lifestyle changes they desire to make, as this new person. I work from the inside-out. I don’t make you just use force of will to change your habits, or tackle all the visible stuff. I start with actually helping you transform into the kind person who would naturally make these changes, and naturally be living a higher sort of life. I work on making you the real thing, so it’s not just forceful and going through the motions and not a genuine lasting thing. I like to refer to this as “getting to the next level”
I like to imagine that life has different levels, like a video game, and the life we really, really want is at the highest level; and we are currently on the lower levels, making our way up there. Just like in a video game, we are called to face challenges and learn to do new things, and achieve new things. We are supposed to be becoming stronger, more skillful, more advanced, and growing, so that we can rule at our current level in life, so we can then start preparing for the next better level, and the next one after that.
The problem is, that most of us stop climbing after we hit 18, and we just stay there, on this same old level over and over until we die, and we wonder why we’re feeling stuck and bored and unfulfilled. It’s because we’re not leveling-up! We may be doing different things and have different stages in our lives, but we’re still the same level of person that we were ten years ago. So we’re having a difficult time handling new things.
OR we are currently in the process of getting to the next level, but it’s becoming a struggle, so we start to think it’s the wrong decision or we’re not cut out for it. And then the people around us start to say, “uh…what are you doing?”, “why can’t you just do things normally?”, “Maybe you should stop trying and get realistic”, and all kinds of other bullshit that people like to say when they themselves have been stuck on their own really old level for a long time.
And that’s the thing: leveling-up IS difficult. I mean, that’s the whole point. The next level is literally taking things to the next level. If it were as easy as the previous one, what’s the point?
So we do face a lot of kickback, lots of resistance and naysayers, and thus lots of self-doubt and struggle because we’re trying to level-up. We’re trying to evolve and that takes WORK!
That is why if you’re going to shoot for experiencing the highest level you can get to in your life, you’re going to have to become a more and more badass version of yourself. Badass meaning: strong, flexible, resilient, confident, focused, energized — all that good stuff.
So if you’re craving to make some real, genuine, hardcore change; if you’re ready to bite the bullet, if you’re ready to face your fears, if you’re craving some tough but compassionate ass-kicking love, and can see the beauty in the battle… Then hello, welcome, you are right where you need to be to learn how to do all of this.
So I am going to be your sensei, your guide to navigating through life like a ninja, and really inspire to you to start getting towards the next levels of your life instead of staying stuck and frustrated, so you can make this life experience happen! We can do this together.
Alright, so let’s go!
I want to give you my 7 solid reasons why change is 100% mandatory for your life right now.
There is much inner resistance that comes up when we’re ready to make great change — trust me, I know them well! — and so I really want to bring these big ones out into the open and let you know what the truth really is.
Ok: Here’s why evolving yourself — leveling up — is absolutely mandatory.
- You want to be different.
You want your life to be different! You know you’re going to have to be a different kind of person for that different kind of life. BAM. That’s the solid proof right there. You want to change. You WISH for change. That means that the act of simply desiring it, is already a solid part of who you really are. Just because you’ve never yet been that way, or experienced it yet, doesn’t mean it’s not who you really are. You just haven’t done it yet! Simple as that.
You once didn’t know how to drive a car. We didn’t say “I’ve never drove a car, so it must not be who I really am.” Bullshit! You want to drive, you learn to drive and you become a car driver. You want to be more fearless, or more free, or less needy, or more in love with who you are… you LEARN, you practice, you LIVE it, and you ARE it.
You wanting to be different already means that that must be a part of who you are meant to become. Because you truly want it. That possibility is housed within you. So is your desire. So that IS truly you. You wishing you could change is an enormous indicator that making great change is the requirement to get to the next level of your life.
2. You can’t control how you were raised, but now you’re an adult and you can rewire your mind and take control of your brain.
So many people say they want to make changes, but then say things like: “But that’s just not how I am” or, “I wish I could be that way, but I’ve always been like this” or, “she can do it, but that’s not me” or, “I grew up a certain way, so this is how I am”.
No. Just because you’ve been a certain way your whole life, or just because you failed at something before, or you were raised a certain way — that is a person in your past. You are an adult human being, and we are able to choose to think differently, believe different things, and rise up and say; “Ok, this is what happened to me, but from now on, I’m going to decide what I want to make it mean, and what I’m going to think from here on out.”
The past is over, unless you keep telling yourself stories about it. You could choose to be an entirely new version of yourself every day, if you decided to change your thinking habits.
Your past is not holding you back, it’s your thinking about your past that is holding you back.
3. You’ve had to change so much from when you popped out of the womb, to now.
Humans are meant to keep growing. Think of how different you were from age 4 to 14. And 14 to 24. Why is it expected that after age 18 we must be fully formed inside and out, as our ultimate full-grown selves? Why are we encouraged in childhood to dream big, grow, and become better and better… but then once we hit our 20’s, we’re expected to even ourselves out, settle down, and have everything all figured out and set for the rest of your life?
Adulthood is an arbitrary age! Yes, we stop physically growing, but think of how many grown adults still act like teenage drama-queens? It’s because their inner growth stopped once they hit 18 and assumed they were fully developed.
We are supposed to keep growing. This is how great changes are made. This is why some adults continually evolve and reach continually amazing points in their lives, while others are just trudging along with their head down doing the same thing forever.
Continually evolving is essential if you want to live a better and better life.
4. How can we expect great life changes, if we aren’t approaching things differently?
People say, “I tried to change, but it didn’t feel right.” Or, “It was too hard!”. Ohh, ok. You want big and bright changes to happen, but you don’t want to make a big and bright effort?
That doesn’t make sense!
So many of us are waiting for our lives to magically change first, so then we can then be a different person. But that’s completely backwards.
How it really works is that in order for your outside life to change, you need to become a different person to live that new life. You can’t just dress a homeless girl up as a popstar, put her on a huge fancy stage in the middle of a packed stadium in front of screaming fans, and expect her to be able to put on the show of your life. But, you could take a homeless girl off the streets, clean her up, help her get back on her feet, give her quality voice and dance lessons, coach her and inspire her, let her build up her confidence, practice and practice for years, put her in front of small crowds, let her learn more, rinse and repeat, etc, etc… then dress her up as a popstar, put her on a huge fancy stage, and she just might put on a dazzling performance, and her life may completely change from then on out.
You can’t jump levels and go straight to the top and expect to be able to rule at it. You haven’t evolved into that person yet! You gotta work your way there. That’s the only legit way.
So we love rags-to-riches tales and fabulous end results. But let’s not forget about everything that has to happen in between.
If that girl wasn’t willing to make any effort to level-up, nothing would’ve changed.
5. People who say “you’ve changed” as an insult, are the actually exposing their own weakness.
A huge worry is what other people may think. Especially if they’re people we’ve known our whole lives, or people we’ve spent a lot of time with while in a certain phase in our lives. We feel bonded, we feel a mutual connection. But what happens when that lifestyle is no longer what you need? What if your old interests and past-times and ways of behaving are no longer serving you?
You know what I’m going to say: if they’re really your friends, they will support you and be understanding towards your evolution. If they hold it against you and judge you for it — that exposes a weakness within THEM — not you.
When people are disapproving or distancing themselves because you’re choosing to improve your life, it is a sign to me that they are not the kinds of people I want with me on my new phase of my life. It doesn’t mean that I have to say goodbye forever or give up on them or burn bridges. It just means I think to myself, “hey, ok, fine, I’ll go on my own path for now. Maybe we’ll regroup later down the road. Or maybe not”.
Judging them for judging you doesn’t help either. You’ll never know how they also might change surprisingly for the better — maybe even after seeing you do it first and showing them what’s possible.
Just because you haven’t meant your new, supportive, amazing crew doesn’t mean that they aren’t out there.
Shedding people in your life is just like shedding an old skin. You can fold it up and put in nicely in the back of the closet for later, just in case. In the meantime, a new, shinier skin is coming to the surface. It’s completely fine!
6. You cannot rely on anything or anyone else to do it for you — this is YOUR life.
As an adult, you are responsible for who you are and how far you go. You literally are the sole owner of yourself and your life, and while we may have tons of amazing people around to help us out along the way, we ultimately have to do it for ourselves.
We can’t wait for our significant other to improve themselves first. We can’t wait for the world to be a better place first. We can’t wait for the stars to align and for some magical sign to guide our way. We have to make it happen. We have to give ourselves permission. We have to be our own biggest supporters, endorsers, and lovers, FIRST, or else we will never have enough self-sufficiency and oommph to take us all the way there. We gotta do this for ourselves, first and foremost. Momentum creates momentum.
7.You’re going to die.
Hah! Yup, I saved the best for last. It’s true. We’re all going to get feeble, and die. Yes, even that person you can’t stand; and yes, even that chick you envy that you think is so much better than you. We all have to go down that path. And in the end, only we ourselves will know if we lived our life to the best of our ability or not. The only thing we can take with us is how we feel about our life, and how proud we are of how we lived. My biggest fear is lying there with regret, saying “what if I had tried harder? What if I had just put in more effort and faced my fears? What if I didn’t worry so much, and just allowed myself to become who I most wanted to be? What could I have experienced that I will now never know?” I think about this every day, and if this isn’t the biggest ass-kicker, I don’t know what is!
I LOVED writing this list, because this is what I deeply had to believe in — and still do — when it came to allowing myself to evolve out of my shyness, many insecurities, fears, and all that. I’m still practicing this.
And I want to give you more than just full permission to do some skin-shedding; I want to tell you it’s imperative, it’s mandatory to make great change if you want to experience life in a fuller way.
Wishing for a new way of being, a new experience of life, doesn’t mean that you’re being untrue to yourself or that you aren’t loving who you are. In fact evolving who you are is a huge loving gift to yourself, because you are actually giving yourself a chance at a better life. Think about it! There is nothing shameful, selfish, or self-denying about it.
So if you’ve been holding back on wanting to get to the next level for any reason, I really want you to think deeply on all the things I just said, because I know it sounds like common sense, but so often we totally get it, but we still resist doing it because we don’t allow ourselves to make a solid decision to finally DO IT.
This is your experience of life, guys. Just because you’ve never done something a certain way before, doesn’t mean that it can’t be done. Humans are wired for great change, and if you naturally have a hint of rebellious nature and a creative mind, then you are already especially highly qualified for evolving into someone you’d love being even more… someone you’d be so proud to be… someone who could create an amazing life experience for you.
Thank you so much for joining me on my first podcast, guys!
In the next podcast coming up, I will talk about how to make our own rules for our life, so we can be as free and as true to ourselves as possible.
Until then, I send you all my unconditional, unconventional love! Bye!